He, She and Tinkerbell
by ElsaT
Summary: When an awkward moment happens between them, a series of events begins to unfold without they realize that this will change tragically their future. It starts as a T, but will change to a M in the last chapters. Lizzington.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I'm back on track with a new fic. The name Tinkerbell makes you think about something? :D**

**Once more thank you so much to my sweet beta reddington19. I wanna dedicate too this story to my lovely facebook group and to everyone who joined us in two amazing initiatives: #LoveForMegan and #LoveForTheBlacklistWriters. Remember, no matter what, we need them to make this show pretty awesome. **

**Disclaimer: For now, I own nothing.**

The thoughts succeeded each other at a hallucinating rhythm in her head. The confusion was imperative, however, her biggest problem was in her heart. That feeling of tightness wouldn't let her in peace.

_Wife? I always thought she'd be dead. How can he hide me this fact? Does he still love her? She is really pretty, no wonder he has chosen her. Grrr, Elizabeth Keen, you need to stop thinking these thoughts!_

Many reveries took all her attention while she was driving to Red's safe house, one of many that she ever known. As she approached, a small drum beated strongly in her chest. The days had become almost impossible to hold on, with too many peaks of strong emotions. Red almost lost the woman that a long time ago, his wife, and Liz almost lost him. It was impossible to continue in this limbo. How had she allowed him to become so important in her life?

Liz knew that she hadn't made any mistake with the address, when appeared in front of her a stately home, rustic and with a huge central balcony. The view of the sunset from there should be unique. Once more was Red's excellent taste proven. Only one of the windows throughout the house was lit up, it would probably be a fireplace as the visible light was dim and wavering. Liz looked at the clock that indicated 10 PM.

She went up to the large front door where, in vain, she tried to find the bell.

_What kind of house doesn't have bell?_

The knuckles of her fingers came in contact with the wood, sounding a beat. She received no response. Dembe wasn't at home? Liz opened the door carefully and put just her head in the opening to peek at the lobby. It was so dark and there was no sign of either.

"Dembe?" Silence.

"Red?" Silence.

Shrugging, Liz entered. It was urgent to talk to Red, clarify what had to be clarified. She wandered by a broad dark room with large sofas, then through the kitchen where prevailed the smell of strong coffee and finally by an immaculately tidy office. Nothing. No one.

_Well, maybe there was someone upstairs._

Liz decided to explore the upper floor of the mansion, upping the many steps of the giant ornate stairway until she reach into a long hallway. Ahead, Liz had many doors, however, only one of them was open and slightly illuminated. She moved closer, feeling the warm invites her into the light. However, she stopped against the edge of the door, enjoying the scenery. By the fireplace, was a large armchair, from where she saw short strands of gray hair to glow with the light of the fire. Red.

And behold, something disturbed the silence of the night, startling Liz.

_What was that strange noise?_

And she heard again. And again. Red moved dimly in the armchair, leading Liz to think he would be the source of that strange noise. Next to the armchair, on a small table lay an empty bottle of scotch. Liz's heart began to race.

_Oh my god, oh my god, my god! He's feeling bad._

"Red? Red? Are you okay? " Liz concern was evident in her voice that came out inconsistently in her tight throat. As she approached, she felt that at any moment her heart could skip from her chest. Once she saw him, she went into shock. An ice ran through her from head to toe, leaving her mind blurred for a few seconds, forcing her to hold herself on the fireplace so she wouldn't fall. Red opened his eyes and when he saw Liz, panic settled in his entire body, but if there was something that Liz will never forget, would be the panic in his eyes. She had never seen Red so scared.

Trying to break the silence, Liz opened her mouth several times, but no word was uttered. As soon as she managed to regain control of her body, she ran as she could to reach her car quickly.

"Lizzie! Lizzie! "She heard when she had reached the bottom of the staircase, after advancing several steps. Making more of an effort, she ran to the car and locked it as soon as she sat in her seat. Her breathing was more breathless than ever and if she had coming here confused, she was going home more confused even. But at that moment, the only thing she wanted was to get home as soon as possible.

If someone asked her how she got home, Liz wouldn't know how to respond. Her whole mind was stuck in the scene that she witnessed with Red just a few minutes ago.

_Seriously, Red? Why, why?_

While she put the key on her front door, Liz felt no disgust for what she saw. She was strangely excited. Pretty excited.

_Elizabeth Keen, what's the matter with you?_

She entered and locked the door behind her, afraid that Red had followed her. She threw herself onto the couch exhausted and Hudson joined her.

_This was real? Did I saw Raymond Reddington, the 4th most wanted criminal in the world masturbating in front of the fireplace_?

Nobody could imagine what tomorrow would bring.

Tbc

**AN: Did you expect this end? I hope you enjoy guys. Read and review ;) I want to know what do you think about this first chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I know that's hard to imagine Red doing that, but... :P **

**Thank you for the reviews, favorites and followers. You are very important to me. :)**

**I also want to thanks to my dear **And FOREVER** and **reddington19** for the help they have provided me in this chapter. You're the best girls. **

Several days have passed since the last time Red and Liz met that night. Once again, he disappeared without a trace, making him impossible to find. However, there was another person that Liz couldn't find.

_Did they run away together? It can't be..._

Suddenly she felt her chest tight, momentarily hindering Liz's breathing. Inside, she wanted to believe that Red wouldn't be able to leave her alone, because he told her that she would always have him. There was a lot of unanswered questions and only they could lead her to the truth.

During all these days of absence of Red, Liz sat at her desk, revising the processes about Red, Naomi and Berlin, hoping to find something that had escaped her earlier. The Post Office was in stand-by until they received the information about the next blacklister and only Red could provide that information.

Around 6 pm, Liz was preparing to return home, as usual. However, she was interrupted by her cellphone. She looked at the screen.

_Stupid man! What does he want?_

Her hands began to sweat and tremble as she tried to hold on to the phone and decided if she should read the message or not. After a deep breath as an act of courage, she opened it.

**Nick's Pizza: Meet me at the Safe House at 9 PM. R.**

_Meet me? Really? He disappears for all of these days and now wants to talk to me. Only in your dreams Reddington!_

**Liz: No!**

Red didn't respond, didn't even try to convince her otherwise, which made Liz leave the Post Office very disappointed.

She didn't want to go home. Despite the weather being gray, Liz felt the need to clear her mind, so she drove up to the small park along the river. She sat on a bench that she had shared with Red and in a moment she was lost in thought about the last night they met. She remembered him sitting in his luxurious armchair, with his erect member in his hands and little moans coming out of his mouth. What at first seemed to be a moment of bad disposition was after all a moment of pleasure. Liz shivered, feeling the growing warmth and moisture between her legs. Her cheeks were flushed.

_Why was he masturbating? He doesn't seem have any problem hiring someone to meet his needs._

A drop of rain touched her face and suddenly it was no longer a drop, but a big rainstorm. Liz got up and ran as quickly as possible in an attempt to reach her car, however, half way her clothes were already soaked. The purpose of escaping from the rain had failed, so she let herself stand looking to the dark sky and feeling all the water fall on her face rhythmically. In that moment, she realized that she couldn't escape. Couldn't avoid. All of this could be irritating but her life was intertwined with his. Only a conversation would give her a chance to say everything that she felt, trying to get rid of the clutter in her head and the clutch in her heart.

Night had already fallen when Liz returned to her car. The luminous clock pointed 8:30 pm, which told her that if she wanted to be on time, she couldn't go home to change clothes. She conducted directly to the Safe House.

She knocked on the door two minutes before nine, waiting a bit before Dembe opened it.

"Agent Keen."

"Good evening, Dembe."

"Follow me, please. Raymond is waiting for you. "

_How did he know I was coming? Damn it. I'm so predictable_.

Liz followed Dembe without uttering a word, hearing only the sound of her wet clothes. And behold, they stood in front of the long hallway.

_Not again. No, not that door..._

Her anxiety was increasing, leading her heart to beat faster and faster in her chest. For a brief moment, she felt she wasn't able to re-enter that small room. Her legs almost refused to cooperate, but Liz knew that it wasn't the time to go back.

Dembe indicated her to enter and she was welcomed with open arms by the cozy warmth of the fireplace. Her clothes were still wet. Red stood watching the flames formed by fire, apparently lost in his thoughts..

"Raymond." Dembe's voice broke the silence of the room.

Red turned, nodding to Dembe. Then glanced at Liz, studying her for a long second, asking himself why was she all wet. Honestly he didn't expect her to come, not after what happened and the answer that she gave to him. But internally, he was happy for her presence.

"Dembe please find some dry clothes for Liz." Dembe nodded and withdrew.

"I'm fine." Her voice was weak and didn't convince Red, leading him to face the flames again.

"You told me to meet you here. What do you want, Reddington?" Liz broke the silence after a few minutes using a dry and harsh tone.

"Elizabeth, don't talk to me like that." Red was upset, Liz confirmed that when he turned to see her. "Don't you think that we need to talk?"

"Well, I'm here. You can start. "Liz adopted a defensive posture, crossing her arms around herself.

Red sighed deeply, trying to compose himself before he started talking. He showed her a couch to sit and he sat in his armchair.

"To begin, before you come into my house without us having pre-arranged a meeting, knock at the door. It was really embarrassing what happened here the last time we met. I have my privacy and would like continue to have it. "

"Oh yeah, like you respect mine!" Liz threw furiously.

"Elizabeth! Don't be insolent. "

"And you don't be cynical, Red. How many times did you get into my house uninvited? Without knocking? Even now I'm constantly changing hotels, I'm sure that you see every place where I step. "

Red stood up furiously from the couch, giving her an implacable gaze.

"Elizabeth, I warned you. I don't like that you to talk to me like that. I never invade your privacy that way. I have my needs, I'm not made of iron. "

_Oh, but what I saw looked like iron. Oh it really seemed made of that. Gain some sense, Elizabeth Keen!_

Liz looked away into the fire that was burning in the fireplace vividly. Were they really having this conversation? The silence returned.

"Lizzie?"

"Don't call me that."

"Sweetheart?"

"It's always the same story, Red. I'm sick of it, absolutely sick. You enter into my life when you want, you disappear when you feel like it. Since you entered my life you've only sowed confusion! For months I lived in the dark, now I'm always alone, always with fear, always suspicious of everything and everybody. And it's your fault! On a day that I was determined to seek some answers with you to have some peace, you were here m... m..." Liz was already standing and rising her voice as she spoke, cheeks flushed with anger that she felt and staring at Red.

However, she hadn't time to finish her sentence, because Red talked over her.

"You think you're the only one that suffers, Elizabeth? That everything bad that happens in your life is my fault? Do you like to see yourself in that role of poor Elizabeth? Have you ever stopped to think how my life should be? You must think that I've enjoyed ruining your life. Grow up, Elizabeth!"

""Are you calling me kid? You gotta to be kidding me!"

Oh, now he was furious. They were so close now while they were fighting for the dominance of the conversation.

_Why am I excited to see him angry with me? I love his dilated pupils, rapid breathing, and tense body. Oh Reddington, I'll show you if I'm a kid or not!_

Liz chuckled with her thoughts as she pinned him up against the wall for an urgent and passionate kiss. Red responded deepening the kiss, wrapping his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. She could feel his instant arousal swelling in his trousers, almost making her lose control. Pushing both hands firmly against his chest she freed herself, leaving him panting and desperate for more.

She shook her head.

Tbc

**AN2: I hope you enjoy guys. R&amp;R. I want to know what you think ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: You're the best :D I loved all reviews, followers and favorites. It was extremely fun write this third chapter. Once more i have to thank you so much to **_And FOREVER_** and **_reddington19_** for helping me. They're wonderful you know? :) **

**And now I'm warning. This chapter is rating with a **_M_**, be careful. If you don't like, you shouldn't read. **

"Lizzie." Red's voice was husky, like a low rumble. She wanted him, he could feel it.

The distance between them quickly closed as he moved towards her.

"Lizzie… You can't resist forever. I see in your body language that you want me as badly as I. I have always wondered what it would feel like to hold you in my arms and taste your luscious lips. They are as soft as cotton and as sweet as luscious, ripe strawberries."

Liz could feel his warm breath while he was talking in her ear sending chills down her spine and ripples under her skin. She closed her eyes and let him place gentle kisses on her neck. The room was lit with the light of the fireplace. When she opened them again, she watched as their shadows danced along the wall, slowly combining into one before they pulled apart.

"I can't Red. This isn't right. We're just coworkers and I'm supposed to be mad at you!"

_What the hell are you doing Elizabeth Keen? You're came here looking for answers, not sex._

Red stood there, staring at her with that penetrating gaze.

"Red." She began. She saw determination in his eyes before he grabbed her and kissed her firmly. It was his turn now.

She wanted this, but he wanted this so much more. She always felt safe with Red, always felt that he understood her on a level that no one else did. She felt comfortable with him most of the time, felt connected to him. That wasn't something to run away from, was it?

Red felt her relax. Liz wasn't fighting him anymore. Most importantly, she was kissing him back. She stopped listening to the voice in her head and started listening more to her heart. She let herself get lost in the moment, pouring everything that she had into it. If he did not know how she was feeling, she would show him.

She parted her lips, then slid her tongue against his bottom lip. She parted his lips with her tongue, then sucked on his top lip. She sucked on his bottom lip, then nibbled on it briefly.

Their tongues began to dance together for a long time, until they had to pull apart to catch their breath.

Liz closed her eyes while he was taking her by the hand and led her quickly down the hall to his bedroom.

Once there, with his hands he took the hem of her still wet t-shirt, passing his fingers by her smooth belly. A moan escaped from his mouth. My goddess, he thought. She raised her arms allowing the material to move over her head and then she watched it fly to the floor. His skilled hands reached her bra, releasing her perfect shaped breasts from their restraint. That joined the t-shirt on the floor too, closely followed by her pants and panties. There she was, naked in front of him.

She opened her eyes once again and saw his large hands resting on her breasts. His hands were like velvet on her warm skin, making her nipples harden instantly. Red cupped both and pulled her closer to his body. He made small circles around her nipples with his fingers and Liz let out a small sigh. He made the circles larger, brushing her stomach with his hands. He gripped her around the ribs, and then slid his hands down to her hips. Expecting to be relieved of the tension that had been building between her legs she inhaled deeply but was only slightly disappointed when he made it clear he wasn't finished. Instantly he started kissing her stomach and then he licked a trail up to her collar bone where he blew gently before directing his attention back to her breast.

First he kissed her nipple then he put his lips around it and sucked tenderly. Liz could feel the warmth of his mouth on one; then the velvet of his hand on the other. He put it between his teeth and bit down. Instantly she felt her muscles tighten and she moaned loudly. Just hearing that sound was enough to drive him wild. He kissed her on her mouth, completely overwhelming her, while he took off his clothes.

Red picked up her legs, wrapping them around him and pressed her against the wall.

"My turn, sweetheart." He said with a devilish smile.

She looked into his eyes and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She felt his erection teasing her against her belly. She wanted him so badly, but she didn't dare to move, because she wanted this moment to last forever.

Using the power in his arms Red raised her up. Slowly but carefully, he lowered her down onto his hard member. Her arms wound around his neck and he thrust into her for the first time, making her gasp in pleasure. Her skin was gentle to the touch, hot and smooth, comfortably nudged against his pelvis. Looking into those large spheres he could see exactly what she felt in her heart. He kissed her shoulder, then mumbled into her neck. She whispered his name into his ear as she ran her fingers through his short hair on the back of his neck. She traces her nails over his biceps and scarred back, turning his skin red for a moment. Their gaze connected for an instant. Her desire burned so fiercely that he could see the fire in her eyes.

He thrust deeper and she threw her head back. Their breathing quickened and their hearts raced. He felt a bead of sweat drip down his cheek as he lowered his head to devour her neck. Red could feel himself ready to climax but he held back, he wanted to wait for her. He didn't have to wait long because after a few thrusts he felt her muscles tighten. Her insides grasped him letting him know it was ok to let go. And that's what he did, he relinquished himself to her. He gave her his soul, his essence. There they stood, his forehead on hers, her back against the wall. Both exhausted, but neither daring to move. Their hearts pounded in their chests. Their bodies still shuddering from the climax. He looked into her eyes and knew the words she never had to speak. He pressed his lips against hers, putting their bodies closer together, never wanting to let go.

After recovering a little, they laid down in bed together and in a few minutes they were sleeping.

The next morning, Liz was awoken suddenly by Red jumping from the bed.

"Red? What's going on?" She asked still half asleep.

"Lizzie, where's the condom?" The concern in Red's voice was real, Liz could feel it.

"What condom?" She asked while she was stretching out.

Liz looked at the small table beside the bed and saw a condom's empty packet. Red was on his knees looking on the floor.

_When did he put on a condom? Geez, this man thinks of everything. How did he know that I wasn't on birth control? This ass knows everything about me, grrr. _

Liz got up from the bed and helped him with his search. After a thorough search, the condom was nowhere to be found.

"Red, you are kidding me, right?"

The only thing that she saw was panic in his eyes.

_Oh my God, where is the condom?_

TBC

**AN: I hope you enjoy. Read and review :) Let me know what do you think :) **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Finally I'm back :D This chapter was really hard to write. RL is keeping me busy :( And I have to thanks to my lovely beta **_And FOREVER_** for helping me a lot. She has a lot of patience xD This is a M chapter guys. Be careful. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

"Red, forget the condom please. Come to bed." Liz sat up against the headboard of the bed, resting from the last condom's search.

"Just a few more minutes, honey." At that moment he was on his knees under the bed.

"Whatever." Liz shook her head to his obsessive attitude. She didn't understand why the condom was so important. However, she decided not to worry too much about it, she was really tired.

Once Red rose, he saw his sleeping beauty still sitting on the bed. His knees were complaining with the pain but he climbed to the bed and took Liz in his arms, laying her on the satin sheets and covering her with a blanket. He cuddled up beside her feeling her warm body against his and her breathing slow and deep. Within minutes he fell in a peaceful sleep too.

**TBLTBLTBLTBLTBL**

Sitting quietly in the chair after a few hours of sleep, sunrise illuminating across the bed, he was watching her as she slept. Slowly she moved, the sheet sliding down from her chest revealing her naked body to him.

How long had he been watching her, how long had he wanted her? Moments, hours, days, weeks, months, years? It didn't matter, it felt like an eternity to him. Now she was with him and he was simply watching her. All the thoughts in his head were of his want for her, his need for her.

_My God, Lizzie. What did you do to me? _

Slowly he rose from the chair, making his way towards the bed. He stood next to it looking down at her, watching her chest move up and down with each breath, his eyes traveling lower taking in every inch of her beautiful body.

Desire burned deep inside of him as he lightly traced his hand along her body, she moaned softly in her sleep. Red slid his robe off letting it pool around his feet and he slipped in bed beside her.

His arms instinctively pulled her close to him, protecting her almost. Her head cradled in his arms and she nuzzled against him softly kissing his neck. She muttered something still lost in her sleep.

"I want you." He whispered. His voice was deep, dark and dripping with sin. He pulled her even closer, her body heat sent a pulsing aching need through him. He wanted, needed to arouse her as much as he was aroused.

Gently biting her neck, he listened to the moans rise out of her throat while she was waking. She felt his hot breath against her skin moments before he took her nipple into his mouth, the sensation sent a sweet ache throughout her entire body. He nuzzled her and gently scrapped his teeth across her hardened nipple. His cock hardened and throbbed against her inner thigh as like the warmth grew between her legs. He kissed his way down her body and rested between her thighs. His tongue found her swollen clit, he licked her carefully before probing his way deep inside.

He was delighted in listening to her moans, pleased with how her body twitched under his touch. Quick and hard he brought her to an orgasm, her sweet honey taste his triumphant reward. Her body writhed against him, he grabbed her hips pulling her closer to him as he continued to drain every last drop of desire from her.

Even as her body continued to quake he knew her need for him was nowhere near sated. The more he touched her the more she moaned, the more she moaned the more he wanted to lose himself deep inside of her. He kissed her lips and let her taste her desire as she recovered from what would be one of many orgasms that he wanted to give her.

_The condom…_

His smile faded, his heart started to race and he was feeling a bit dizzy. He was almost certain that he had put the condom on before he entered her for the first time. He knew that he had to find it at any cost. He would never allow himself to condemn Liz's life in this way. _Not his Lizzie._

_Where's the damn condom?_

His eyes scanned over her body, making him want to lose control again but as soon as his eyes focused between her legs, his eyebrows rose up.

_It can't be..._

His fingers started to touch her beautiful thighs like a feather, making Liz shiver.

"Red?"

He smiled at her, continuing his exploration and advancing to the inside of her thighs. He could feel all the heat and moisture that emanated from her even after a big moment of pleasure. His thumb touched her still sensitive clit, she was already close to another orgasm.

"Hmmm, Red."

Small circles were made by his thumb very slowly, torturing her and soon his finger was wet again with all her juices. It was amazing how Liz responded so quickly to his stimulation, making him feel increasingly fascinated by her. Her hips began to move against his thumb, which encouraged him to slip a finger inside her. Liz let out a loud moan. His finger entered so easy that he decided to add more two, leading Liz to move her hips against his hand.

_I can't feel anything ..._

Trying to find something that would lead him to believe that the condom was really there, he inserted his fingers even harder and deeper, which brought Liz to moan and arch her back. Despite knowing that another orgasm was near to Liz, he was just worried about the condom.

"Oh Raymond ..."

Red felt he that he couldn't go deeper with his fingers but he was trying anyway.

"Red?"

Silence. He was so focused on his task that he didn't realize he was no longer giving pleasure to Liz, but pain.

"What the hell, Red? Are you crazy?"

"Sorry, sweetheart. It wasn't my intention hurting you."

Liz studied him for a few seconds and understood that he was trying to find the condom inside of her, instead of just giving her a lot of pleasure.

"Seriously, Red?"

"Lizz-."

Red didn't have time to finish his sentence because Liz jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom slamming the door shut.

_I can't believe that he was trying to find it. Damn it, Red. What is wrong with you?_

**TBLTBLTBLTBL**

Step by step, Liz walked down the staircase with a clear intent to abandon the safe house as soon as possible, preferably without running into Red. However, a delicious smell coming from the kitchen grabbed her like a magnet. What she found at the kitchen was unexpected. Red was on the stove cooking something and lost in his thoughts. A domestic version of the fourth most wanted criminal in the world. Liz leaned against the edge of the door and cleared her throat to get his attention, having difficulty suppressing her laughter when he turned around and saw that he was wearing a colorful apron over his immaculate white shirt and a dark blue tie.

"Breakfast, sweetheart? I'm making some delicious pancakes that I learned in Italy when ... "

"No thanks. I'm not hungry." Red was interrupted her dry tone. Their eyes met for a moment and she could see the sadness that lay in his eyes about everything that happened in that morning, gripping at her heart. Still she continued steady.

"Please, Lizzie. Going to work without eating anything would be irresponsible. I need you healthy to catch blacklisters with me."

"I can eat something when I arrive to the Post Office." His whole body was begging her to stay and Liz couldn't resist to his transparent request.

"Fine." Liz drew a chair, sitting on the small table ready for their breakfast. Red smiled at her in a genuine way as he served a plate of pancakes and a cup of coffee and then he sat in front of her.

Their breakfast was taken in silence. Nobody shared a word. They were both lost in their thoughts.

"I'm glad you liked it." Liz rolled her eyes to his comment and got up from the table. When she reached the door, she turned around.

"Thank you, Red."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. You'll come back later?"

"For what? I don't think I should, Red." He looked at her sad and hurt. He knew that he was wrong for what he did to her, but he never wanted to hurt her.

"It's not what you think, Lizzie."

"Would you care to explain it to me?" Her voice reflected aggression now.

"Elizabeth ..." Red tried to alert her to the tone of her voice, but she didn't give up.

"I'm waiting."

"It seems pretty obvious, Lizzie." She raised an eyebrow expressing her confusion. "I'm trying to protect you as I always do."

"From what? Don't tell me you have a disease ... I don't believe, Red! Go to the hell!" Liz said while she ran out of the door.

"Elizabeth, wait! That's not it. I have no diseases, I do exams every year since that time in Nepal that-. "

"Cut the crap."

"What else should I be worried about, Elizabeth?"

"Do not tell me you're worried that I would get pregnant. Red, I can't have children! That bastard Tom and I tried for years and it never happened. I. Am. Infertile. "

"Are you sure, Lizzie?"

"What do you mean?"

"Another one of Tom's lies, sweetheart?"

"No way. We tried many times, I wasn't even on the pill. How would I avoid pregnancy then? "

" Lizzie, I took you as more insightful." Red laughed and shook his head.

"Fuck you, Red!" Liz stormed out, turning her back on him.

_Who does he think he is to telling me that I'm not insightful? And I was wasting my time listening him, pfft._

"Elizabeth, wait!" Red managed to grab her arm while she was about to enter in her car.

"Let me go!"

"I can prove it if you come back into the house with me."

"Bullshit!"

Red looked her straight in the eye and Liz could see that he was telling the truth.

"Fine."

Without letting go of her arm for fear that she'd run, Red led her to the small office and invited her to sit on the couch by the window while he was looking for something on his desk. After a few seconds, Red hands her a blue file.

"What is it?"

"Open it."

Liz opened the file and on the first page was a picture of her with about 2 years' worth of all of her personal data. Full name, date of birth, blood type, hair color and eyes, among other things. After passing multiple sheets, her attention was now focused on one specific page. Between lines she could read "female, 29 years old, has a chance of pregnancy about 87%, not observing any signs of infertility as had been reported by the patient."

"What the hell is this, Red?"

"I think you know what that is, sweetheart."

"How do you have my file in your hands?"

"Do you think that's the important issue right now, Elizabeth? What I really want is to find the condom. I don't want risks to anyone. "

Liz was confused and speechless.

_How was I wrong for so long? I always thought I couldn't have children..._ _That box, the gun, those puppy dog eyes always fooling me. Everything was a lie. Fucking asshole. _

"Sweetheart ... I know that's a lot of information at once, but I have an associate that I think that you should see-."

"No way! I don't let anyone look at me in that way." Liz stopped him jumping off the couch.

"You gotta do it! Do you know how dangerous it is having something like a condom inside you? How toxic it can be?"

"But you're not worried about that, are you? Your fear is that I might get pregnant and you'll have to be permanently attached to me because we had a child together. "

"Sweetheart, listen to what you are saying. I'm really worried about you, with your health, mentally and physically. It's not even worth taking a chance. Having a child in the conditions we live in? Every day we could die at any moment. You know what happened to my family, do you want the same to happen to you?"

"But ..."

"There is no "but" Elizabeth. We can't take that risk . I would never forgive myself if something happened to you."

Liz sighed and plopped down on the couch again, focusing her gaze on the blue sky that she could see through the window.

_This is not happening to me._

"Honey, please. Let Dr. Herbert see you."

"Do I have any other option?"

Red pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her body, as an apology. He wished that everything would be different, but they were involved in crime world. Nothing would make him happier than to start a family with his Lizzie. Nothing.

**TBLTBLTBLTBL**

A few hours later, after she phoned to her boss to inform him that she was exchanging information with Red, Liz was anxiously awaiting the arrival of this Dr. Herbert.

_Why did I agree to do this? I must be crazy. You are so dumb Elizabeth, you've always known that it wasn't a good idea be involved with this man. He only brings you trouble after trouble._

Her musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Lizzie?"

Turning her head towards the door, Liz found Red with a short guy, with a long and untidy beard, disheveled hair and rumpled clothes.

"This is Doctor Herbert, I met him in Mexico when-"

Liz rolled her eyes at another one of Red's attempts to tell her a story from his past.

"Red, can we talk for a few seconds alone?" Liz said as she got up from the couch.

"Sure, sweetheart."

Liz grabbed him by the sleeve of his perfect white shirt and pulled him into the hallway.

"Are you crazy? Do you think I'll open my legs for a man who looks like a homeless person? "

"Lizzie, I know you just want to open my legs for me-" Red laughed.

"I'm serious, asshole! I have no idea what he's capable of doing to me! "Liz gave a little punch on Red's shoulder, which he gave her a look of mock offense.

"I trust him, sweetheart. And do you trust me?"

Her gaze was lost, she trusted him of course, but the whole situation was so confusing. Again Red pulled her against his chest and hugged her lightly. Liz could hear the fast pace of his heart that told her how nervous he was too.

"Let's go?"

Liz nodded.

Lying naked in the same bed that some hours before was their pleasure nest, Liz waited anxiously by Dr. Herbert and her whole body was trembling due to nervousness that was dominating her. As the door opened, Liz closed her eyes trying to hide her emotions, although she realized that Red knew her quite well.

Dr. Herbert was positioned on the top of the bed, sitting on a chair that has been provided by Red and began removing some medical instruments from his bag and laid them on the bed .

"Miss Keen, can we start?"

Her eyes began to fill with tears and she couldn't answer, her words were stuck in her throat. A tear escaped down her face and was promptly picked up by Red's thumb, however it wasn't the only one. He pulled her to him, allowing her to lay her head on his neck and he reassured her as he stroked her hair.

"I know this is very hard my sweetheart, but I am here and will never let anything bad happen to you."

Wiping the last tears that were now on her cheeks flushed from crying, Liz laid down again. Before giving permission to Dr. Herbert, she intertwined her fingers with his who responded with a small kiss on her lips, in a unique gesture of affection.

Dr. Herbert touched her for the first time with a metal object, making Liz close her legs instinctively and tightening her grip on Red's hand.

_Grrr, this is so painful. I'll kill you for making me go through this, Red!_

Liz took a deep breath and opened her legs again, allowing him to start the procedure and as it progressed, the pain was getting worse.

After several minutes, she felt him pulling something from inside of her.

"Well, I think we found what we were looking for." Liz peered between her spread legs and saw a clamp holding a red condom.

_Could only be a red condom… Obviously._

"Miss Keen, now I advise you to take precautions to prevent a possible pregnancy. Is that your wish? "

Liz looked Red in the eyes looking for an answer, but she only saw a sad and vacant stare. All of this was hurting him very much too. A deep sigh was release, accompanied by her response.

"Yes."

"Very well. I'll leave you a pill that you should take as soon as possible."

Liz nodded.

In a few seconds, she was alone in the room. Red accompanied Dr. Herbert to the door. With no strength to get up, Liz cried and cried until she felt that all her tears had dried up.

_Is this what my life has become?_

There was no need to be whining, the damage was already done. She gained courage and stood up slowly, still in some pain and got dressed. Her job was waiting for her at the Post Office. She didn't hear voices which meant that Dr. Herbert was gone.

She found Red in the kitchen resting his hands on the counter with a glass of water and a blue pill in front of him. Without uttering a word, Liz took the pill and left the kitchen.

Perhaps work would make her forget everything that happened during this eventful morning.

**TBLTBLTBLTBL**

"Agent Keen is everything okay?"

"Yes, Sir. Reddington was giving me more information about the upcoming blackli- "Her speech was interrupted by a sudden dizziness that forced her to rely on a nearby table.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm just a bit dizzy."

_What is happening to me?_

After lunch, Red returned with news that allowed them to catch the blacklister that they were looking and without time to realize Liz was already running in the narrow streets of Washington DC. While she was trying to catch Brian West, she was getting breathless, without strength but fortunately Ressler appeared and intercepted him.

Leaning against a wall, Liz tried to recover but she returned to being attacked by dizziness. But now came harder, leaving her nauseous.

A warm hand rested on her back.

"Sweetheart are you okay?" In response Liz vomited at his shoes. "They were my favorite shoes."

The floor, her view, everything began to flee and Liz felt that she could faint at any moment. And that was what happened when she fell lifeless and was caught by Red's arms.

"Lizzie? Sweetheart? Can you hear me? Elizabeth wake up! Dembe bring the car now!" His bodyguard nodded and rushing to go get the car, while Red held his fragile and lifeless Liz in his arms, completely panicked.

TBC

**AN: I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think about this chapter. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Finally I'll update this story. I'm so sorry for making you wait, but RL is killing me and my inspiration :/ I have to say Thank you so much to my lovely beta ANDForever for her amazing job of helping me to make this chapter a lot better. You rock girl ;)**

**Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing.**

There he sat, unmoving; still in the same place where Liz had fainted, Red held her in his arms, terrified. His pale and lifeless treasure. He squeezes her tighter as he thinks back to last night, how full of life she was. He just wants to start over, hold her again, happy and carefree - not like this.

"Liz! What the hell happened!?" Ressler screamed, as he realizes what happened from the other side of the street. Before Ressler even had time to cross the street, Dembe pulled up in a black Mercedes. Red scooped up Lizzie and layed her down carefully on the backseat, Red climbing in quickly after.

"Reddington!" He yelled, but they had already sped off towards one of the many safe houses.

In the safety of the car, Red put her head on his lap stroking her soft hair with that sweet chamomile scent that he loves. She looks so peaceful. His heart tightened and his eyes filled with tears.

"What I have done, sweetheart? What have I done?" He whispered desperately.

A soft blue hue covered the room's walls where the light entered through a large window and illuminated the king size bed where a fragile Liz rested. It had been almost 3 hours since they arrived at Red's safehouse, but she was still unconscious to Red's despair. He was sitting in one of his uncomfortable chairs, holding her hand tightly like she would slip away at any moment. He would never forgive himself if anything serious happened to her. Dembe started an IV in Liz's arm to keep her hydrated and healthy.

"Raymond?" Dembe's deep voice echoed in the room, startling him put of his thoughts.

"She will wake up, Dembe. I'm sure of that." Convincing himself was already hard enough, but convincing Dembe is a different story.

"You don't know, my friend. We need help."

"She will ..." Red ignored his presence and focused again on his sleeping beauty, which led Dembe to retire from the room. He had to do something. He knew that Red would probably get upset with him, but his duty was to keep both of them safe, including Liz.

He took the phone from his pocket and dialed a number.

**TheBlacklistTheblacklistTheblacklist**

Red awoke with a start, a sharp pain in his neck greeting him as it spreads, he rubs at the pain as he gets up from his chair and wanders towards the window. He gazes out the window as his mind races, getting lost in thought, thinking about what happened earlier that day. With Lizzie on his mind he turns around and looks at her, admiring how the moonlight is framing her beautiful face. Oh Lizzie... The door creaked opened and jarred him from his thoughts as a small figure entered the room.

"Dearie?" The silence was broken by a soft whisper.

"Kate?"

"Ray ... What happened?" She said, pointing to Liz.

"What are you doing here?"

"Tell me what happened. Dembe told me that you needed help. "

"Dembe? Dembe!" The Red's voice echoed in the big house, he hurried down the stairs looking for Dembe; Mr. Kaplan followed him.

He found him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter drinking a glass of water. Dembe knew sooner or later, Red would come to him furious, asking him why he went behind his back.

"Why did you call her?

"I did what needed to be done, Raymond." Dembe was very serene. That was always the best way to deal with Red.

"You didn't have that right! I caused this so I'll fix this, this is my problem, Lizzie's mine! "

"My job is to keep you both safe and right now, Elizabeth is not safe. We don't even know what's wrong, and she hasn't improved at all.. She needs help before it's too late!" Dembe said, trying to bring Red to reason, but when it came to Lizzie all reasoning was out the door. He needed some air, so he headed out back to the large garden to sort through his thoughts.

**TheblacklistTheblacklistTheblacklist**

After Red sorted through his thoughts he made his way back to Liz, walking in to see Mr. Kaplan checking her vital signs speaking quietly to her.

"I was just telling her a story from my younger days," Mr. Kaplan said as she put her equipment away.

"You know she is the most important thing in my life, don't you?"

Mr. Kaplan nodded.

"I can't lose her. I can't live without her, without her smile, without the beautiful way her eyes light up when she's mad or passionate. She's such a beautiful and strong woman." His words got stuck in his throat and his eyes filled with tears. After collecting himself, he continued. "Nothing bad was supposed to happen but we had to do it, we couldn't take the risk."

"What risk?"

"The risk of Lizzie being pregnant. We can't create a child, its too dangerous!"

"What are you talking about dearie, you're not making any sense?"

Red couldn't look Mr. Kaplan in the eyes. It was his entirely fault, he convinced Liz to take that damn pill, because they couldn't risk the possibility of her being pregnant. Again, his sad green eyes were full with unshed tears, waiting to be released.

"She took a pill."

"What kind of pill? What happened?"

Red sighed deeply, it was going difficult to explain the details about what happened last night. Mr. Kaplan would be so disappointed with him.

"Well, we got ourselves into a little bit of a situation last night..." He was at a loss for words.

"Go on, dearie."

"Lizzie caught me in a compromising situation and I don't know quite remember how, but we ended up in each others arms. God she's like fire, you know? I've never felt such passion before." His heart started racing just thinking about that amazing moment. He continued, "We made love, Kate, it was one of the best moments of my life to be honest. But after it was all over, everything was perfect except for one thing..."

"And that was..." The suspense was killing Mr. Kaplan.

"Well I lost... I lost the condom." Red blushed, he was embarrassed to be having this conversation with her. He felt terrible, like a foolish boy confessing to his mother.

"But later on you found it?" She pushed.

"We tried to find it.. We looked everywhere - on the floor, behind bed, in the sheets, but we couldn't find it. So this morning I called an associate of mine to come help me. He did an exam on Lizzie and found it..."

"You said that she took a pill. What kind of pill?" Mr. Kaplan's tone was scaring the hell out of Red. He knew that she had an idea about which pill Liz had taken. "Tell me that it wasn't the pill that I'm thinking of, Ray."

Red simply nodded and braced himself for what would come next. Mr. Kaplan's face went blank and then turned several shades of red. Oh god, he thought, she's absolutely furious.

"What the hell were you thinking, Raymond Reddington?! Do you know how dangerous and harmful those pills are!? How could you be so ignorant? That was incredibly irresponsible of you. What color was the pill?"

Trying to find his weak voice, he answered. "Blue."

Mr. Kaplan gave Red a fulminant look, making him shiver. She went to her suit case a took a few small bottles of medicine and a syringe When she finished, she injected that into Liz's IV.

"What did you give her?"

"Her cure."

"Which was..."

"Raymond you have Liz's file, you should know that she's allergic to certain things. One of them is in the compound of that blue pill she took. You realize that your carelessness today could have killed her.. Are you aware of that?" She said, stressing the seriousness of the situation.

Red's heart skipped a beat, losing her would be his worst nightmare.

"She should wake up in a few hours."

"Thank you, Kate and I'm sorry for all of this mess, I just don't know where my head was. I was so afraid of the consequences, to risk having a child and not being capable of protecting them."

"I know, dearie." She comforted him, giving him a hug. She was like is mother, always protecting him, cleaning up his messes. But this time, he played a dangerous game that he almost lost.

Mr. Kaplan left the room and Red sat close to Liz's bed, grabbing ahold of her hand, wishing she'd wake up soon. He missed her voice, her smile, her touch.. The bright light he saw in her eyes last night while they made love.

**TheblacklistTheblacklistTheblacklist**

About two hours later, Red felt something move in his hand. Straightening himself in his chair, he noticed that his Lizzie was finally waking up.

"Sweetheart?"

Lizzie rubbed at her eyes and took a few steadying breaths trying to comprehend what was going on.

"Lizzie, sweetheart, are you ok?" He said, wide eyed.

She sat up suddenly and eyed Red with a look that he couldn't quite understand and.. SLAP! Her hand made contact with his cheek with force, causing him to wince. Feeling the sting instantly he grabs his cheek and stares at her in shock.

"What the hell is going on?" He thought to himself.

**Tbc**

**AN: I hope you enjoy :) I'll try to update as soon as I can. Please let me now what do you think :) Have a nice day.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** Hi guys. I'm so sorry for this long long wait but RL sucks, you know? It's so hard to be an adult lol. But I'm back :P I wanna thanks to all of you for your reviews and follows and thanks especially to my lovely and close friend AndFOREVER. She's the best and a huge support when I wrote this chapter (and in my life too). You rock girl :P

**Disclaimer**: Like always, I own nothing (sadly).

**TBLTBLTBLTBL**

Red sat there holding his cheek, confusion plainly written all over his face. _This woman never ceases to surprise me._

"Lizzie?" He said as he eyed her cautiously.

"Shut the hell up!" She was pissed. Lizzie hunched over and held onto her head, the events from earlier in the day slowly coming back. She didn't know where she was or how she got here, she just wanted to get away from here and go home. She started ripping off her IV so she could get up and get out of this place, but Red held her still and lightly pushed her back.

"Let me go! Get away from me!" Liz said as she tried fighting off Red by pushing against his chest, but it was a fruitless effort, he was too strong.

"You're sick sweetheart, please. You pass-"

"Let me go now or I'll scream. I don't want anything to do with you anymore, you're ruining me! I can't handle this anymore Red, I'm falling apart!" Tears were streaking down her tired face, breaking Red's heart. I'm soo sorry sweetheart... Look what I've done to you. Seeing Lizzie hurting and in pain was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

"You're very weak Lizzie, you need to rest to regain your strength. I know that I messed everything up, but please don't leave. Not now." He said softly, looking into her eyes. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I sure as hell don't deserve you-"

"It's all about you... All about your needs and your wants! What about me? Huh!?" She was beyond pissed. She looked at him with wild eyes, waiting for his answer.

He winced, saddened and unsure what to say, "Stay here, I promise you'll get the best medical care possible; I'll ask Mr. Kaplan to stay with you if you want..?"

"Mr. Kaplan? Why her? What about her..." She said curiously, furrowing her brow.

Red sighed. I guess I should tell her the truth about what happened.

"It was Mr. Kaplan who found out what was wrong with you and counteracted it. She saved your life." Red said carefully, watching her facial expressions.

"What exactly was wrong with me? It wasn't some kind of mental breakdown?" Liz raised an eyebrow.

"After you passed out on the street, I took you with me. Ressler saw what happened called out after us but I ignored his calls."

"Oh my god, Im sure that he's talked with Cooper. I need to call him. Wheres my phone?"

"No need, Ive talked with Cooper and explained what happened." He tried to calm her.

"So, what really happened to me?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I brought you here, but you weren't waking up so Dembe called Mr. Kaplan and I told her briefly about what happened last night and this morning." Liz eyes widened. "I told her about the lost condom, and the pill."

"The blue pill. It was the pill?"

"I didnt know that you were allergic to-"

"OUT!" Liz yelled, interrupting him.

But he didnt move. She attempted to get out of bed again and Red allowed it, watching her closely. Standing up she realized her legs felt weak, almost jelly like. As she took the first step she doubted she could continue much further and grabbed ahold of the bed post. Putting her head down in defeat, she cried silently, the stab of disappointment just to much for her heart to bare. She had such a beautiful, amazing night with the man she loves, then everything went to hell. All of this stuff with the condom, the doctor, the pill.. It was killing her-literally!

"I just want a normal life, with a normal lover, a normal job, a normal child. Everything just fucking NORMAL."

Red stood up and watched her for a moment, unsure of what to say, then started towards her slowly, afraid she'd shy away. Lizzie stood still, waiting for him to touch her with his warm soft hands. His fingers lingered softly on her arms and he looked at her gently.

"Let me help you, Lizzie."

"I wanna go home. Please." She pleaded, it was all too much for his heart. This was worse than any of the enemies he's encountered-his heart aches.

"I know sweetheart but please stay here just for tonight and I'll take you home in the morning, I promise." He didn't want to fight or argue anymore, he just wanted her to rest and have this mess be over with. Red helped her back into bed, tucked her in and gave her a light kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight, Lizzie." Red whispered quietly, but she didn't respond. A sliver of moonlight illuminated her beautiful face as she stared out at the night sky, thinking about everything and nothing, lost in thought.

Red walked over and opened the curtain all the way, giving her an unobstructed view, then left the room, giving her the space that she need that night.

**TBLTBLTBLTBL**

Morning came quickly for Lizzie as she laid awake in bed after a night of broken sleep, plagued with nightmares. She heard Red enter her room periodically but feigned sleep, not wanting to deal with the day yet. Head pounding, she attempts to roll to her other side but her sore body made her think twice.

"I hate you, Reddington." She muttered to herself weakly.

A knock at the door startled her, making her heart race as the door slowly swung open. Red quietly entered holding a tray of food in his arms- strawberries, raspberries, a bagel, and a glass of orange juice.

"Good morning, Lizzie." Red said softly with a small smile.

Lizzie sat up and stared at him. He seemed so calm... How could he be so calm?

"Morning."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Not really." She said stoically, not putting much effort into the conversation.

Red gave her a softhearted look, "I brought you breakfast."

"I'm not hungry. I just want to go home."

"You need to eat to feel better. You need to be healthy."

"Where are my clothes? I need them to get home." She was changing the subject and Red was starting to get upset.

"Elizabeth, just behave like the adult that you are! You need to stop with this childish behavior, it's enough!" Now he was serious, her behavior is driving him crazy. This woman is so stubborn.

Red approached her bed and put the tray by her side.

"Eat something while I go look for some clothes. Please Lizzie?"

Liz sighed and nodded and Red left of the room without saying another word.

**TBLTBLTBLTBL**

Thirty minutes later Red appeared with some clothes, ones she didn't recognize.

"Those arent my clothes." She said flatly.

"Your clothes were dirty and damp so I found these for you." He walked over and set them on the bed with a small smile.

"Thanks."

"Will you need any help?" Liz shook her head and Red left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

She went to the bathroom and washed a nights worth of tears off of her swollen face. She looked at herself in the mirror and let out a quiet groan. This is just all too much...

Slowly she got changed into the clothes that Red gave her. They were beautiful clothes-a silky light blue shirt, jeans and a suit jacket. The material was so soft and it looked like expensive unlike her clothes. She looked at her reflection and the clothes fit perfectly. After brushing her hair and giving herself a once over, she headed back to the bedside table.

She wasn't hungry but she nibbled on some fruit anyway. Her body was weak and she was afraid of passing out again. Then she'd have Red on her ass again.

She left the room and descended the stairs, and found Red sitting quietly on the couch waiting. When he looked up at her all he could think to do was smile. He stood up and walked over to her, she was so beautiful, even with that sad expression upon her face.

She looked him in the eyes, and saw his soft loving eyes smiling at her. "I'm ready to go home."

Red nodded and they walked out to the car, Red put his hand on her lower back and helped her into his black Mercedes. He walk around to the other side and sat beside her, but not to close to give her some distance. Neither me said a word during the trip back to her place, both lost in thought, unsure or what to say.

Once they arrived Liz opened the door in a hurry, not giving Red a chance to open it for her. She all but ran to her front door, while she fumbled with her keys Red caught up to her.

"Lizzie?" She turned to face him.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry. Please call me if you need something." Oh his eyes Liz felt her heart melt a little bit.

"I'll be fine."

"Please." He begged, pleading with his eyes.

"Ok." She said unsteadily trying to keep a blank face.

"I love you." He said before she closed the door in his face.

TBC

**AN2: Don't kill me ok? XD I hope you enjoy. Read and review please to let me know what you think ; ) Have a nice Friday.**


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